Many of us are taught that catching and then punishing children who lie is the best way to teach them how NOT to lie. However, new research indicates that adults proactively showing trust in children is a more productive way to teach honesty and self-discipline.
I had been thinking about this idea anyway (more in the context of encouraging honesty in teens) and then CBC Radio’s The Current had a segment on this very topic on their show yesterday.
Here’s a clip:
“KANG LEE (researcher): In our common practice at school or at home, we tend to use threats and other negative meanings to persuade children to be honest. So, we wondered whether or not we can flip on to the other side. Try to find something positive and to encourage kids to be honest. So, in this case, we want to use trust as a means to promote honesty in children.”
Assuming Honesty
If you’re a parent, grandparent, early childhood educator, or teacher, do you assume honesty or do you wait for kids to “screw up” before you “teach them a lesson”?
Similar to encouraging agency in children, promoting and assuming honesty and trust is paramount to positive child development and self-awareness. We don’t want our children not to cheat just because they might get caught or because someone’s watching them. We want them not to cheat due to their own integrity and sense of duty.
To wit, in an article describing the results of the study, even the study’s researchers were surprised at how adults’ sense of trust fortifies kids’ belief in themselves and nurtures their instincts:
“These results challenge the assumption that young children are simply opportunistic or prone to dishonesty. Our research suggests they are acutely attuned to social cues of trust from a very young age,” said Lee. “While more work is needed, fostering an ethos of trust rather than distrust could be pivotal for supporting children's character development in their formative early years.”
So, let’s start to think about how we can set kids up for success and build their self-confidence by assuming trust from the outset.
Until next time, parents.
Lisa
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