Happy 2024, readers.
Ever philosophical, I often ask myself what success looks like for me as a parent. The answer, of course, will differ for every parent and family.
To some, success means having children who grow up to be high-achievers. Whether making a lot of money or working in a highfalutin career such as a doctor, lawyer, accountant, scientist, dentist, or professional athlete - some parents are hyper-focused on that type of success.
To others, it means having children who stay in touch with them, visit often, are close friends with each other and hang out together as a family.
Still others will feel they’re successful if their kids are openly happy, free-thinking and fulfilled.
What Really Matters?
Similar to a post I wrote about understanding the “end goal” when deep in the parenting trenches, when making smaller decisions - like trying to decide whether or not to let your kid sleep over at someone’s house or making them stay home from a trip to the mall because they didn’t clean up their room (even though you asked/warned them 18,964 times!), it’s easy to get lost in the little things.
However, for me, it’s those small decisions that don’t really matter. When stressed or worried, I try to remember that it’s the overall goal, macro perspective and/or lesson that matters.
If your goal is to raise kids who are self-sufficient and respectful then making sure they clean their room to your standards every week is going to be important to you.
If raising children who will be high-achievers is important, then making them practice piano or get to every soccer practice or fulfill their coaching duties will be important to you.
If your goal is to instill a sense of hard work then ensuring they have a part-time job during the school year and a full-time job in the summer (as well as saving or investing) will be important.
Knowing your end goal or macro plan will help parents make those smaller decisions. I’m not saying it’s always easy-peasy (sometimes deciding whether to let your kid sleep over at someone’s house can be tricky) but, understanding the bigger picture can help inform those smaller decisions.
It’s kind of like having a strategic plan — but for parenting.
Here’s wishing you a year full of hope, laughter, celebration and good health.
Yours in imperfect parenting,
Lisa